“Why do you love me?” It’s the question that if I’m honest, I ask my husband Tanner more than any other question. More than, “When will you be home?” “What do you want for dinner?” or “What do you want to do this weekend?”
Those five words—Why do you love me?
And every time I ask that question, my husband looks at me perplexed and probably a bit disappointed that I’m asking that same question, yet again, maybe even for the third time that day.
When I ask that question, I’m revealing something about my heart, my marriage, and ultimately my relationship with God. That question, “Why do you love me?” reveals the truth that ultimately, I think my husband loves me based upon my performance. My heart shows my idols of approval and performance in marriage. And since marriage is to reflect the gospel redemption story, this lingering question that I ask indicates that deep down, I still struggle to believe that God loves me in spite of my actions but rather because my identity is in Christ.